Weight Loss: Permanent and Powerful. - Making Peace with Food and Your Emotions

Weight loss methods become more important as our nation proliferates diet gimmicks that cost lots of money and don't deliver permanent solutions. Perhaps more importantly, they most often cost the buoyed self esteem of the dieter once they "go off" and the pounds come back rapidly.

This kind of sucker weight loss system has been a thorn in my side for decades now. I've experienced it up close personally and professionally. But there is a solution and it offers you permanent weight loss.
The solution to people continually gaining weight back after dieting contains several considerations:

1. Do you really want to lose weight? Yes or No? If no, you can stop reading and talking about wanting it. Spare yourself the agony of the unaccomplished desire, not to mention the anguish of guilt. Eat and be merry!

2. If #1 doesn't sound promising, find out how you can authentically want to lose weight.

3. Resist the temptation of diet books, diet programs, even well-designed nutritionist-recommended programs if they do not contain a proven method of helping you manage your emotions without the aid of food.

4. Resist any "program" that is led by someone who does not have total freedom around all foods and ever mentions feeling "guilty" about eating certain foods or calls certain foods "bad."

5. Develop emotional neutrality around all foods; ice cream is the same as broccoli in your emotional world.

6. Clear emotional baggage that causes you to eat when you really wanted something more nourishing.

7. Hone your ability to identify what you really need in the moment [of your discomfort] - It's usually not food.

8. Learn respect for your body and it's ability to tell you when you're hungry and when you need some other specific thing to quench your desire.

If you've been dieting for a long time it's easy to want a "quick fix." Being overweight and the process you use to get there is very painful. But if you've been dieting off and on since high school or college and now you are in your 40's, 50's - well, you get the point. You have a long history of dieting and the beliefs you've honed so well. I have never, in over 22 years of working with many different kinds of people, seen such a fierce, terrorized loyalty to a set of rules that are so destructive.

I hope you'll consider a different approach to your weight loss and weight management. Your well-being depends on it. You, too, can enjoy the freedom to eat and the freedom not to! Having a slender body; being comfortable in your body is a true delight you deserve!

Wild Weight Loss - Will it last?

Weight Loss is always a "hot" topic. Rush Limbaugh lost 90 pounds in the last 6 months! Weight loss - it's on every cover of nearly every single popular magazine. Even some content rich magazines will still include weight loss articles sure to be on the cover for increasing sales. While we obsessively put weight loss on everyone's lips and reading material, we are becoming a nation of exponential obesity. There is something amiss when we are so focused on weight loss and becoming fatter in the process. I have plenty of thoughts about what's amiss. It's not just opinion, but based on 22 years of working with people who struggle with this pervasive issue. What's the deal that we can't get weight loss right?

Let's look first at what is applauded as "weight loss." Only a few days ago, the news was all over the fact that Rush Limbaugh has lost 90 pounds in the last 6 months. Yes, 90 pounds in 6 months. Scary! How does one lose 3.5 pounds per week for 6 months in a row? Again, it's scary. Ask any nutritionist, in-the-know eating disorders therapist or doctor and you will hear a resounding voice of this not being a good idea medically or psychologically. And to boot, there is no exercise included in this diet of Mr. Limbaugh's. The "Quick Weight Loss Program" will, no doubt, be inundated with people looking for that quick fix to their weight problem. They will make a lot of money.

This diet has several key ingredients; starvation, structure, supplements and support. It's missing exercise and sustainability. Doesn't sound bad, does it? But sustainability is a big deal. I sat with a client in my office only last week - she came to see me in a total panic after she had spent the last year losing 104 pounds.(I had not met her until she came to me in her panic). She had been down to 135 pounds, 20 pounds below what her goal weight was to be on Weight Watchers. Now she weighed 155, had been eating/binging for a month, and was in literal terror about feeling consumed and out of control with eating. It was so sad to see her terror. She had no freedom around food, and any "slip" whatsoever from her spartan choices and amounts sent her into a full force binge.

This is what happens 99% of the time - and the portion of the diet that no one talks about. People talk about the success of their diets. "Yes, I lost 104 pounds!" But the next stage of the diet is the binging, the weight gain, and the subsequent piling on of guilt and shame. The diet is the faulty factor, not the person. But the person is always amassing more portions of guilt and shame. Then it starts over. "I'm fat, I must diet and do it harder."

Why mention weight loss in a blog on performance? Because appropriate weight is essential to top performance as an athlete, a stage performer, or to anyone wishing optimal health. I have a particular passion for working with weight loss, having taught classes for over 20 years to help people free themselves from their ineffective, harmful patterns with food and their emotional traps with overeating. I've seen the diet cycle up close and it never changes. If you have emotional issues that are unresolved and use food to get you through life, those emotional issues don't go away, just underground while you're on the diet. I repeat, the "loss" part is just one portion of the diet cycle. It's only one portion.

If the emotional or addictive tendencies with food are not resolved, the person, no matter if they've lost 20 or 90 pounds, will eventually have to come "off" the diet. The only other choice is to become an addict - a dieting addict. I'm concerned for Mr. Limbaugh - he's revealed his addictions in the past. This just may be his newest one. And I feel sad for all the well-meaning people sold a bill of goods about diets and weight loss.

The answer? Doing the smarter, harder work - learning how to deal with anxiety without the aid of food. Discovering, identifying what the anxieties really are and knocking them out of the body. Learning how to literally neutralize the cravings that occur from years of habitual ways of thinking and behaving around food. There's a lot of intention involved in not getting swept down the path of dieting. My wish - to give everyone I can the courage and hope that there are ways to do this work that lead to total freedom around all foods. The freedom to eat is the freedom not to. Choice and freedom, no guilt, no obsession with calories --- freedom. That is permanent weight loss.

Renewal and Restoration

I've been writing a series on Managing Energy as the key to high performance and personal renewal. And I realize more acutely how it takes constant practice when trying to achieve a new behavior pattern. Regarding getting more sleep, I had great success, and then another late night. But the difference is to realize that progress is often very cyclical. I wasn't back sliding, I just had several nights of more sleep than I normally would have!

Tomorrow I go on vacation for a week and that is truly a time of restoration for me. It's a different kind of "vacation" - no walking the beach and sitting in the quiet reading books, all of which I love. I'll be back in my old stomping grounds, Missoula, Montana, visiting a gazillion good friends. These close, loving relationships bring me such a sense of renewal and restoration. They provide much needed energy. The power of the heart and connection feeds me. I will actually be seeing a couple clients, and seeing a packed "agenda" of friends from all my 23 years of living in this beautiful, quiet little mountain town. I'm going to visit my former house, where the deer gather every evening. I'll stay with a couple different friends, and we'll probably stay up late talking about life and catching up with the large and minute portions of the meaning we find in our lives.

These carved, spacious opportunities to sit back and share with friends are what I most cherish. Aside from the silent form of journaling, I find the out-loud sharing to be the most rewarding, nourishing form of hearing and listening to my life. Most often, you don't know how you really are feeling and thinking about the evolution of your days until you hear yourself speak it out loud spontaneously. And friends will reflect it all back to you, with an eye to who you are that is particular to them.

Lately I've been experimenting with one more thing --- thinking before I articulate a comment or story; is this really true? Does this deserve to be said? Can I be willing to stop using extraneous words and just let the truth stand? It will be interesting to apply this to my sharings over the coming week. This paring to the essential seems part of my own restoration. It might just be a gift to others also.


Wishing you renewal and restoration in the blessed, heartfelt connections with those you love, enjoy, like, find stimulating, and celebrate the true nature of you!

Managing Your Energy for Peak Performance - Part IV

Peak Performance: Rest!

Authors Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz introduce how rest plays a major role in maximizing performance.

"This concept of maximizing performance by alternating periods of activity with periods of rest was first advanced by Flavius Philostratus (A.D. 170-245), who wrote training manuals for Greek athletes. Russian sports scientists resurrected the concept in the 1960s and began applying it with stunning success to their Olympic athletes. Today, "work-rest" ratios lie at the heart of periodization, a training method used by elite athletes throughout the world."

The basic concept hasn't changed since it was advanced nearly two thousand years ago. After a period of activity, our bodies must replenish fundamental biochemical sources of energy. "Compensation" occurs during this rest phase and the energy expended is recovered. When you increase the intensity of your training or performance demand, it's necessary ( not suggested, but necessary!) to commensurately increase your amount of energy renewal.

"Energy is simply the capacity to do work. Our most fundamental need as human beings is to spend and recover energy."

How and when are you resting? Do you know the keys to getting the most of high energy performance?

As you know, I've been experimenting the last week with drinking more water and going to bed at an earlier time. The blog immediately preceding this one gives feedback on how it's going!

Today is Sunday, a good day to focus on the rest periods that Loehr and Schwartz recommend for peak performance. My internal observations have been fascinating. First, just knowing that I'm going to take a break in 90 minutes makes it easier to stay focused on my task at hand. I've been able to begin and sustain the energy, looking forward to my new found 20 minute break! Other than a Mac computer class from noon-1:00, I had not scheduled any specific time to get my day's agenda completed. I chose not to visit a church today, since I did have a large amount of things to accomplish before leaving on vacation.

Old patterns have included some very unproductive days of not "starting" because I had a long list of tasks and "all day" to get them done. Many times, all day turned into all day not getting things done and also not playing!

It's been a great day! I've been able to start tasks; stick with them; take a 20' break even when the task was not done; go back to the task easily; finish it; take another break and really enjoy the freedom of these breaks! I'm happy with my day! I'm liking these experiments. The rest periods are energizing me to really get some needed work done. They are giving me great energy in the fun anticipation of breaks and freedom to see what I might create in them. Who knows! I might even be in bed by 10:00 pm tonight! Now that is behavior change to create more productive and satisfying energy in my life. Please join me! Let me know how it's going!

Managing Your Energy for Peak Performance - Part III

Feedback on Energy Experiment – Water, Sleeping, Emotional Freedom Technique -----

I really am learning from Loehr’s and Schwartz’s advice. They know their stuff. As you may or may not know about my experiment since the July 12 blog, I selected drinking more water and getting more sleep as the two baby steps I’d focus on to improve my production energy. Drinking more water helps significantly! Getting to bed earlier is bringing up some challenges! How is this important to you? Read on!

Drinking more water definitely helps! It’s working! My last blog of July 17 addressed my challenges with going to bed at an earlier hour and some thoughts about unconscious blocks to doing so. For now, let me report I actually went to bed at 10:30 pm last night – one and a half hours earlier than my typical very earliest midnight! I was giddily shocked. I do believe it was the EFT tapping I did on the aspects listed in my July 17 blog that helped me to very easily just go to bed. However, I didn’t tap on an unidentified aspect; the desire to plan my next day and tinker with some projects while in bed! So . . . it was 12:30 after all when I turned out the light.

What is important for you in this? Two things: One is that the effectiveness of EFT was what got me into bed by 10:30 in the first place. Normally, it would have been 12:30-1:30 am. Secondly, is the concept of baby steps. In former days, I would have chalked the whole thing up as a miserable failure since I didn’t turn the lights out until 12:30. My experimenting with new behaviors would have come to a screeching halt. With embracing the freedom and compassion of baby steps, I could acknowledge that getting into bed by 10:30 was huge progress for me. That acknowledgment felt great; a "way to go!" pat on the back. Normally I would have turned on a movie or Saturday Night Live or turned my computer on to get some necessary correspondence done. I didn’t do any of that, which is behavior change I want! My feel-good pat on the back is poised to allow me to go to bed earlier again.

I’ll apply some EFT on my “hard drive." I can clear the need to take those project files to bed. I can tap on the “North Dakota” habits in me where working sunup to sundown is just normal behavior. I’ve been doing that since seventh grade. Time to let it go. Time to take those rest breaks, be even more productive and have more fun. I'm already having more fun! Now that’s a combination I can live with!

Below segment excerpted from The Power of Full Engagement, Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz, page 71:

Physical Energy: Bear in Mind

• Physical Energy is the fundamental source of fuel in life.
• Physical energy is derived from the interaction between oxygen and glucose.
• The two most important regulators of physical energy are breathing and eating.
• Eating five to six low-calorie, highly nutritious meals a day ensures a steady resupply of glucose and essential nutrients.
• Drinking sixty-four ounces of water daily is a key factor in the effective management of physical energy.
• Most human beings require seven to eight hours of sleep per night to function optimally.
• Going to bed early and waking up early help to optimize performance.
• Interval training is more effective than steady-state exercise in building physical capacity and in teaching people how to recover more efficiently.
• To sustain full engagement, we must take a recovery break every 90 to 120 minutes

.

Manage Your Energy for Peak Performance - Part II

Part II: Resistance- "You Can't Tell Me What to Do!"

(Part I – July 12, 2009)

If you’ve joined me on my experiment to get more personal energy into my life, bravo and welcome! I’m wondering how it’s going for you in the last several days. Remember, baby steps! I’ve most often been an all-or-none person, which can make major changes difficult, if not impossible. I know these baby steps are going to really set us up for some good success.

In my last blog of July 12, my personal choice of baby step changes was to drink more water and get more sleep. I’m not getting hung up on the “64 oz.” per day recommendation, so because of that feeling of freedom, I think I am getting 64 oz. or more a day. Freedom is an important element in making change. If we tell ourselves we should get 64 oz. of water a day, the funniest thing happens in the unconscious (sooner or later) – resistance.

I watch it every day with my clients and with myself. I use EFT with clients to address the resistance which basically says “you can’t tell me what to do!”

The “you can’t tell me what to do!” is all unconscious. Remember, 96.4% of our thoughts and actions are controlled by the unconscious – the mind we are not aware of! The conscious mind, which controls a measly 3.6% of our thoughts and behaviors says, “I really want to drink more water.” (Excuse me while I go get some water.)

Here’s what I love about EFT. It can be used to completely dismantle and eliminate the resistance; the force against the “should” and the "should" itself. Most people call this sabotage and wonder why they keep setting themselves up for failure. I’m not a fan of the word sabotage for these instances. It suggests that somehow you are consciously doing something to trip yourself up. I disagree. More accurately, you are a victim to the power of your unconscious attachments, need for safety and many other factors. Here’s an example: (please use this to examine your own wish and the blocks that may arise for you).

I say I want to get more sleep. I really do need to get more sleep. But I don't do it. I’ve even worked on this with a business coach years ago. We were shooting for me to get in bed by 10:45. I think over the course of two years I did it once! Even when I really want to get more sleep so I could feel more rested and be more productive in my work and play day, I just plain resist going to bed. And right here, as you are my witness, I’m vowing to tap (use EFT) on my resistance to going to bed earlier. There are many aspects to my resistance. One, I’ve always been a night person, even as a child. Who would I be if I behaved differently? Clients often will say things like, “How will I know it’s me if I don’t carry this badge of resentment or hurt on my sleeve?” We become identified by certain things, certain habits of behavior. It is who we think we are. My habit of staying up until midnight or 1:00 am just doesn’t cut it anymore, but it just feels like it is who I am. It’s what I do. It used to work well! I need to download an update.

I’m also going to tap on these additional aspects that occur to me just sitting here thinking about the “desire”:

1. I have to stay up late to get enough relaxed, down time.
2. I love the night time and I’ll miss it too much
3. I don’t get enough done during the day so I need my later hours to get more done – I can’t sacrifice that time
4. I’ve always worked, written, done my best thinking at night so I must continue.
5. I used to watch Johnny Carson’s “The Tonight Show” with my father nearly every night as a child. These are fond memories and I’m “hooked” into them.

If I use EFT and tap, one at a time, on these aspects, I know I will get clarity and clearing on the blocks that don’t serve me. I will discern what’s true and what’s no longer true! I realize already that I don’t get that much work done late at night like I did when I was younger. I’m tired, productivity is low. I’d be much further ahead going to bed, waking up refreshed, getting to the office earlier, leaving the office earlier at the end of the day, and having more fun, free time in the evenings. Tapping is the key element to allowing this clearing to happen naturally, freely.

And the neat thing about tapping is that after the obvious (conscious) blocks to my goal are cleared, the unconscious ones (previously unknown to me) come popping up. It often is an exclamation of discovery on my client’s part. “Gosh, I didn’t know that was in there!” People are thrilled to identify these blocks and to clear them. They clear easily, once we see what they are!

Once I recognize the blocks to my going to bed earlier, the very things that say, “No I won’t go to bed earlier. You can’t make me and I don’t want to!” - well, then, and only then, do I stand a chance of going to bed earlier happening freely and naturally. You will find this happening with EFT – I actually can promise you that. Remember, without tapping and clearing these unconscious blocks, it’s just a desire, a good intention with a 96.4% block to happening!

I’m looking forward to tapping now that I’ve committed to you that I will! I’ll keep you posted! And remember – baby steps! I hope to hear what you’ve selected from the July 12 blog to have a more energetic, productive, satisfied day!

Manage Your Energy for Peak Performance

Manage Your Energy for Peak Performance and Personal Renewal

The book, The Power of Full Engagement, by authors Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz, is about getting more energy. Who couldn’t use a bit more energy? Obviously we are looking for it. Check out the plethora of "Energy Drinks" on the market now. I don't think caffeine and chemicals are what the doctor ordered for true, sustainable energy. Since we are in the age of renewable energy, why not take a serious look at how to materialize more energy into our personal lives? Loehr and Schwartz make a clear case that managing energy, not time, is the key to peak performance and personal renewal.

They write about three basics: health, happiness and balance. Their sound advice is the same for athletes, workers, and CEO’s.

“You learn how to stay focused, stick to a routine and eat right. We learned from these athletes you needed a certain kind of energy to perform well,” says Schwartz.

I’ll be writing a series based on Loehr and Schwartz’s book, The Power of Full Engagement. To be honest, I’ve had this book for nearly five years. I look at the cover all the time, knowing it has very important lessons for me (and others). I peak into the text now and then, but have never really committed myself to an action phase. Sound familiar? Right now in my life, having had major change and routine disruption to the max, I’m not managing my own energy properly and I’m getting tired. How about you? Are you tired? Are you feeling physically vital, spiritually fed, emotionally and socially connected, mentally focused? If you, like me, have some “less-than-yes” answers, let’s do this!

What can I say that might possibly get you on board with me in joining this new energy experiment? Here’s what I know – see how it is going for you. My life is good. I have many loving people in my life; I golf with a fantastic group of women every Wednesday evening (and being on green grass really does something for me!); I just attended a really fun jazz event at City Park with a new friend and the atmosphere was a delicious taste of summer ease; my work is exciting and going very well; I have the sweetest gray cat, Jack, on the planet; I enjoy great office suite mates and the weather in Denver is amazing. Expressing gratitude is a very powerful energy boost! This is definitely a must on any energy boosting prescription.

Here is what I also know – see how it is going for you. I’m spending the majority of my days (and evenings) working, thinking about work, planning my work; I’m not getting enough sleep – an age old behavior of mine; I’ve developed some new habit of “down time” with CNN; I’m not feeling rested upon waking; I am mostly separated from the stimulation of intellectual and social conversation since moving to a new city; and I am missing the joy and energy of exercising daily that I consistently had in my life and has been gone since a knee problem six months ago. Phew! That is a lot of energy disruption!

I’m “fine” but it’s not good enough. I want energy and balance and satisfaction in a life well lived. So – I’m on board. I hope you will join me. We can learn and experiment together in applying Loehr and Schwartz’s sage advice in all the areas of life to achieve The Power of Full Engagement.

Here are a few things from their book to bear in mind regarding Physical Energy. Take small, baby steps with me. Let’s set this up for success. Consider 1 or 2 things and do them. See how it goes. I’d love to hear from you! Maybe with you doing this with me I’ll get back to where I was accustomed to living – with physical vitality, spiritual aliveness, mental focus and social/emotional connection! Sounds good, yes?

Below segment excerpted from The Power of Full Engagement, Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz, page 71:

Physical Energy: Bear in Mind
• Physical Energy is the fundamental source of fuel in life.
• Physical energy is derived from the interaction between oxygen and glucose.
• The two most important regulators of physical energy are breathing and eating.
• Eating five to six low-calorie, highly nutritious meals a day ensures a steady resupply of glucose and essential nutrients.
• Drinking sixty-four ounces of water daily is a key factor in the effective management of physical energy.
• Most human beings require seven to eight hours of sleep per night to function optimally.
• Going to bed early and waking up early help to optimize performance.
• Interval training is more effective than steady-state exercise in building physical capacity and in teaching people how to recover more efficiently.
• To sustain full engagement, we must take a recovery break every 90 to 120 minutes.

Yes, I will repeat that one! We must take a recovery break every 90 to 120 minutes to sustain full engagement!

For these next two weeks, I'm picking the water and getting more than 5-6 hours of sleep per night. Remember, baby steps! I'll let you know how it goes. I hope to hear from you too! Here's to your energetic and more productive, satisfied day!