Monday, May 23, 2011

Peak Performance: Playing it Safe?

  • Erin's Story
  • Preparation for Peak Performance
  • Action Steps: "Fear Inventory"

Erin's Story

In most every individual's performance issue there hides a life-long pattern of thinking that was necessary "back then" and now bites them in the butt.

Erin is a 39-year-old accomplished university professional and an avid cross-country mountain bike racer. Her concern: "I'm a slow descender.  I pick good lines but I'm slow...I'm afraid of getting hurt."  We could apply some simple EFT to these surface complaints, but it's my job to dig deeper and give her the most effective, fastest change.  I zero in on "I'm afraid of getting hurt" and ask a couple questions... "Well my dad...he liked to tease...constantly humiliated all of us kids."  In repeated comments about her biking and life, I hear her state, "I plan and prepare for potential pitfalls and how to avoid them...or something bad will happen."
  

Life Patterns for Safety 

Ask yourself:  How fast or effective can anyone be when they are preparing for something bad to happen?   How might you be holding this similar pattern of fear?

Erin's long-held pattern of how to avoid danger is a common theme in every client's story.  We all have unconscious patterns developed for very good reasons. They served us well - in fact, were necessary when we were younger. They kept us feeling some sense of control and safety in an environment that didn't offer enough of either.  As adults, the patterns that kept us "safe" back then are now biting us in the butt.  They block, stop - and painfully create a sense of being stuck, preventing us from moving to our most desired goals.  They literally say, "No, you can't do what you want - it's NOT safe!"  It's like living life with one foot on the accelerator and one foot on the brake. 

It's not safe to play full out.

Preparation for Peak Performance

The typical way athletes prepare for continual improvement is through good coaching and physical practice.  They learn the skills and continually fine tune more complex aspects of each  skill (same with musicians, speakers, business people).  Elite athletes focus on positive, inspirational messages, success behaviors, self-affirmations, visualizations - all good and essential.  What's missing, however, is one of the key elements in peak performance - mental preparation - clearing out all negative emotions, all expectations (good or bad), mental effects of injuries, fears, and self-doubts.

Ask any athlete when they haven't performed well.  "I just couldn't stay focused...my nerves got the best of me...I started falling apart after I took such a big lead...I just couldn't get my "act" together."  They're not talking about their physical preparation or their lack of affirming visualizations.  They're really verbalizing deficits in mental preparation, though most seek remedy with more "physical" practice!!

Consider Erin's case of going slow on the descent.  We can clear her belief that "I'm not safe" with focused EFT, and her need to plan around pitfalls will fall away.  Her focus will shift from "danger - slow down - be careful" to a safe, fun, feeling of full out "GO!"  This is the physiology and intense belief of a winner.  This is where EFT shines as a power tool.

We don't have to clear every humiliating incident that set this belief into place.  We just clear enough humiliation out of her system that the lack of safety starts to not feel relevant (this happens physiologically!)  We then strengthen the positive behaviors that now feel safe to accomplish.  The process is systematic and literally creates a shift in how she experiences safety for herself.  After applying this new safety to specific bicycling skills, the internal biological, psychological conflict is over, and she's free to GO! 

Interested in how EFT does this

Action Steps for Athletes:  Fear Inventory
 
(Please note this tool is equally useful for any peak performance issue)

Becoming mindful of the negative things you say to yourself is crucial if you are to clear what's blocking your best performance. 

Construct a "Fear Inventory" to help you identify what things need some EFT tapping for resolution.  Set a timer for 10 minutes and list as fast as you can every self-doubt, fear, or statement that comes to mind about your current playing or upcoming event.  Here are some examples.
  • Erin (cycling) - I'm afraid I'll miss that sharp third turn and fly over the ledge.
  • George (tennis) - I don't like playing Sam  - or - I hate playing in that stadium.
  • Sarah (swimming) - I'm struggling with my turns in the 100 meter butterfly.
  • Robert (golf) - I always slice the ball on the 13th hole at ...
Artful, investigative EFT can quickly get to the specifics of these negative thought patterns and clear the way for optimal performance.  I think you will enjoy hearing triathlete extraordinaire Matt Smith's experience with EFT and his amazing performance in the Hawaii Ironman!

Shout Out!

CONGRATULATIONS to Sybil Praski, Xterra mountain cyclist & former client.  Sybil won the South Central Xterra Championship in Texas this April and has earned a slot to the world championships in Hawaii this October!  "I guess it works - I won!" she emailed. "This is what I really wanted!"

Note:  Sybil went from sport to expert class racing less than one year ago and is already beating the pack in her age category of "expert".  Wahoo!

Friday, May 13, 2011

Warm Eyes for Peak Performance

I was singing well in my voice lesson the other day and my teacher says, "Now warm your eyes." So I did.  "Beautiful!" she says.

It was that fast.  How did I know what she meant?  I just did it.  I shifted into my heart and felt the love and warmth move into and through my eyes.  Voila - that energy immediately came through in the pitch and tone of my voice.  The sound got fuller, more beautiful; "better."  It was ever so slight, but oh, so much more exquisite.  It's one of those "peak performance" differences!
You can "warm your eyes" whether you are working to lose weight, be more proficient at tennis or golf, or give the best public speech of your life. Your success always takes on a new powerful level when you "warm your eyes!"

As someone who desires to always be "better," to improve in your talent, your craft, your life, you know the drill.  If you are an athlete, speaker, or musician, you practice and practice - then perfect it with the subtle, powerful techniques that separate good from great.  And this comes from the irony of letting go of thought and moving into that mysterious area of heart.

I worked with a young tennis player of amazing talent.  She would get so frustrated that she would just "give up" when the going got tough.  She beat herself up for losing a big lead.  She would be negative about particular stadiums, or her hotel room, or decide she didn't like the girl she had to play against in her upcoming match.  Talk about negative vibes taking control of her tennis swing!

These kinds of demons can waste an athlete's talent.

There were so many distractions of "hateful" emotions that there was no "warm eye" energy to move the ball.  So... I set to work with her using EFT tapping to diminish the aggravation about all this focus on everything "wrong" with the moment.  We worked to move her energy into the realm of warm eyes - for herself, for the match, for her desire to play well and win.  She moved on the Emotional Scale from hatred, anger and doubt to optimism, positive expectation and actual freedom.  The freedom moved through each stroke and she won matches she never would have otherwise won!  Her talent was allowed to show up.  And SHE showed up in all her glory!

That is what I want for all my clients - and it is entirely possible!

"It's always amazing what fears lurk on the 'braking' side of the line. Crossing over that line into YES opens the door to the other side - ease and flow - and relishing the JOY of doing what one loves - and doing it well!"                                                                    ~  Bernadette Hunter

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Sometimes you can just "See it Coming!"

I sensed a bad performance coming before she got into her skating pose to begin her routine.  I felt "bad" for her already, and she hadn't even begun.  Her breathing, the look on her face, the visible nervousness as she skated to the center of the rink -- she was telegraphing her inner state before beginning her final skate at the Four Continents Ice Skating Championships in Taiwan just a week ago.  She was in second place.  This skate was going to make all the difference.  

Have you ever felt this way before your big competition?  Especially with a lot on the line. Trembling, unsure, trying to pump yourself up and talk yourself out of what was unconsciously choking you?


This Canadian champion knew she had it all on the line.  Her first move, a very doable axel was "shaky" (commentator's remarks).  The next was a triple lutz.  She fell.  The next triple toe/double toe was easier and she did much better.  "She looks slow and sluggish to me," said the codmmentator.  Cynthia was not having a good skate, not having fun, and she ended the entire international competition falling from 2nd to 6th.

No doubt she has done each of these moves, and probably the entire routine, with ease and excellence.  But not this day; not when it really counted, not on her final skate to determine the champion of the Four Continents Ice Skating Championships.

This ever happen to you?

I'd love to hear about your experiences - and what you've learned about these mental performance slips. We can discuss some of your biggest challenges - I'm here to assist.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Tina Turner and Peak Performance:  Part II


Last week was the first in my 3-part series on Tina Turner and Peak Performance.  We spoke of aligning your heart and head - and the culprit, often non-conscious, of the belief, "I'm not good enough," and some recommended action steps. (3/22/11)

This week's Part II is:

Why do I need Self-Love?

  • Does your talent far exceed your performance?
  • Are you losing confidence in your ability to play your best consistently?
  • Do you hesitate because you're afraid of making a mistake?
  • Are you choking in pressure situations?
  • Are you so stuck on perfection that you beat yourself up when you make a mistake?

People who've done EFT with me for any concern know the power of this method by adding doses of compassion, forgiveness and self-love.  It does wonders for catapulting the performance results for athletes, musicians, and public speakers.

One of the main tools of my EFT work with clients is the use of love.  What the heck do I mean? 

It means transforming:
  • the negativity of backlash for mistakes
  • the impossibility of unreachable expectations and standards
  • the vision of true success
It means infiltrating our systems (thought, feeling, physiology) with:
  • self-compassion
  • forgiveness
  • tenderness
  • ~ did I mention compassion?
You can tune into my recent interview, "What's Love Got to Do With It?" with EFT practitioner, Alina Frank.  We talk about how I use EFT with athletes and musicians to create their best performance.

You can also read my earlier blogs that will give you full EFT tapping protocols to use for enhancing your performance in many areas of your life.

Happy Tapping!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Tina Turner and Peak Performance

What’s Love Got to Do With It?
(can't you just hear Tina Turner?)

I help talented and smart clients who know they are under-performing.  My clients possess a deep passion that must be realized, the talent to do so, and self beliefs and emotions that just plain get in the way.

During the next 3 weeks I'll be talking about how LOVE and compassion are key components for Peak Performance ...  so keep tuning in!

  • Love and Peak Performance     3/22/11
  • Why do I need it?                     3/29/11
  • When will I know I have it?        4/5/11

Power lies in Aligning Your Heart and Head

“Get your head in the game!” screams the coach, as his start tennis player double faults on match point.  It’s true – you do need your head in the game!  You need the mental toughness and clarity to stay present through every stroke in a competitive tennis match.  And your physical fitness level must be top notch. Coaches, music instructors, and trainers are all excellent at getting you in shape for your performance.  But often what’s forgotten in training is emotional management – the HEART of the performance.

I’m talking about the performer’s emotions about themselves before they ever step foot into their performance arena.  The root system of mental/emotional poise; calm and confident performance, is the performer’s sense of self – that “I’m good!” feeling.

Sounds like a small matter, perhaps, compared to raw talent, tons of practice, and pure grit - but in 24 years of working with individuals, no matter how high their ranks, the #1 “enemy” is “I’m not good enough.”  It lurks in the subconscious like a poison; infiltrating every stroke, sentence, melody.  It’s the powerful, subtle force that rips the player from their most inspired, awesome performance – and their most exquisite joy of accomplishment.

Consider how important it is
to move from, “I’m not good enough” to into your heart when you’re playing a round of golf.  In The Spirit of Golf, Feb.2011 edition, the author writes:

The only reason we want to hit good golf shots is that we think we will feel better when we hit them.  That seems to make enough sense.  The problem comes, however, when we ignore the behind-the-scenes energy that it takes to see the shots unfold. If we don’t feel good along the way, there can be no good shots to experience.  In other words, a mind that is full of frustration, anxiety, anger and doubt is not going to be able to set into motion an energy that can crystallize into positive results. 

As this speaks of a mind that’s full of these negative emotions, consider this:        
The heart produces the largest rhythmic electromagnetic field of any of the body’s organs. Its electrical field is about 60 times greater in amplitude than the electrical activity generated by the brain and its magnetic field is 5,000 times greater!  In truth, the most powerful source of our inner power lies in the heart and in our ability to experience and manage our emotions. (The Institute of Heart Math)
My advice to you? Go out of your mind! And check your heart. Then get them aligned. Think how powerful you will be when you’ve got both those energy forces going in the same direction!  Click here to learn more about how important the heart is in maximizing your performance.                                                                                          

Action Steps:

1.  List out what thoughts you tell yourself about your upcoming performance.
2.  Notice... are they creating anxiety, worry, fear? ... confidence, strength, power?
3.  Choose one negative, blocking emotion and apply EFT (you may find the recipe 
     for EFT by scrolling down to middle of blog below this one)
4.  Keep tapping until you have your negative emotion/belief down to zero or one.


Happy Tapping, and . . .  I'd love to hear from you - 
what does love have to do with it for YOU?
 
Remember to stay tuned for next week's  "Why do I  need it?"

Thursday, October 28, 2010

The Surprising Link Between Kindness and Performance

I’ve been struck by how much kindness and acceptance catapults success in healing pain and accelerating performance.  Kindness and acceptance — not the words most people think of for “kicking butt” in sports performance or overcoming fear of public speaking or music performance!

It seems that many people, including myself, learned that getting tough with ourselves or somehow giving ourselves some little “lecture” for our less-than-stellar performance would somehow help us improve!  Even on simple things like, “Oh, you forgot your water bottle again!” (said with frustration and a mild, nearly unnoticeable sense of disdain).  “Gosh, Bernadette, it takes you three trips before you can start the car and leave!”  I’m not really aware at the time that I am chastising and judging myself harshly — I just feel the frustration, and the frustration raises havoc with own sense of goodness and the good feeling of my day.  But hey, it’s just a small thing, right?

Wrong.

In truth, this frustration causes a literal disturbance in the neurology of my body — there is a disturbance in my energy system, and if not corrected, can create an acceleration of “negative” energy for the day.  

The more I try to “be better” (“OK, I’m going to go to bed earlier and get more sleep”), the more intractable the habit becomes.  It’s not that it can’t be shifted.  It’s that I judge myself for having “the problem,” therefore a part of me will always resist changing it.  I will resist getting to the goals I really do want.  I’ve noticed this is a universal unconscious phenomenon with all of us.  The old saying is true:  What we resist persists.

How has criticism helped you?
I grew up with lots of criticism.  Lots of people have.  Parents want the best for their children.  They want their children to be the best people they can become.  Some problems develop when parents see the child as an extension of their own “goodness” or “badness” (anything less than perfect!).

What exactly were you criticized for?  I wonder if you are continuing that history of criticizing yourself — a good question to ponder.  Has this criticism really ever made you a better person?  By contrast, useful critique can give us very important feedback.  It might sting a little at the time, but it can truly make us better people!   Critique, when skillfully done, is a powerful tool for allowing us to see more clearly and empowering us to make important changes.  But the kind of criticism I’m talking about is different.  It’s not constructive.  It’s certainly not kind.  Has this kind of criticism ever made you a better person?

“Oh,” you say, “I’ve gotten over being critical with myself!”   But . . . that’s not my experience of people.  I keep hearing ALL my clients being really hard on themselves!  The harshness of criticism seems to transfer into, “If I’m really good, if I do everything in a superior way, then (my parents or I) will be so proud of me.  I’ll earn their acceptance!   If only I could ________” . . . You can fill in the blank with winning the tournament, the race, the audition, getting the sale, writing the book … or being prettier, smarter, richer, thinner, more athletic…   Usually, this kind of criticism is expressed with harshness.  And that creates a wall of resistance to your goals ever happening.

Accomplishing excellence through kindness and acceptance
I think knowing about Dr. Masaru Emoto’s scientific experiments with water is crucial to really ‘getting’ this effect of kindness on our performance.  (You can read the specifics in my science report on Why EFT Works.  His experiments display what scientifically happens to water when we direct loving, compassionate thoughts to the water, or thoughts of anger, hostility or negativity to it.  (We’ve all heard about how talking to your plants in loving ways helps them flourish!) 

Identical glasses, amounts, and kind of water showed changes this way:
Glass 1 – Dr. Emoto directed loving, compassionate thoughts. The water crystals showed brilliant, complex and colorful snowflake patterns, which he and others have described as beautiful.

Glass 2 -  Dr. Emoto directed thoughts of anger, hatred and negativity toward this glass. The water crystals formed incomplete, jagged, asymmetrical patterns with dull gray colors, described as ugly, not enjoyable to look at.

Since the human body is almost completely water, his high-speed photographs of water crystals seem a very good replica of what would transpire in the human body when it responds to kindness or harshness.

The remedy of kindness – fueling for success
The remedy for our being hard on ourselves and creating a resistance to the very success we desire is KINDNESS.  Sounds simple enough, but you’ll need to become really good at sniffing out the subtle and multitude of ways in which you are hard on yourself.  (I know, I’ve been mastering the skill of being hard on myself for over half a century!)  We will discuss the art of sniffing out the ways of being hard on ourselves in a future article.

EFT works beautifully and powerfully on this ingrained harshness with ourselves.  We must consistently apply EFT to our episodes of self- recrimination and “feeling bad” for simple mistakes, railing on ourselves with high frustration and aggravation.  These emotions just flood our neurochemistry into a stress response.  We Don’t Need It!   It doesn’t help us!

Try this mini-EFT protocol to begin the process of allowing your best to come forward with the cleansing of kindness and compassion. Just remember how your plants flourish, and the amazing work of Dr. Emoto with kindness and water!

EFT Protocol – Try a little kindness
Pick something you’ve done (or failed to do) in the past that gets you frustrated or upset when you think about it. Some examples are:
-       I ate that piece of decadent cake and then had another! (I’m horrible!)
-       I didn’t pay the bill on time and now I have that finance charge! (What an idiot!)
-       I had a chance to win and I blew it! (It’s unforgivable!)

Start by tapping the karate chop point as you say the following:

Even though I’m really mad at myself for ___, I could consider being kind to myself anyway.

Even though I feel so stupid for ___, I can give myself a break.

I make mistakes like all people, and I’m wondering if I could give myself a bit of compassion and kindness!

Eye:  This “I screwed up” feeling.
Side of Eye:  This “I really blew it” feeling.
Under Eye:  I wonder if I really need to be on my case about this.
Under Nose:  Well, I can keep kicking myself if I want to!
Chin:  Yet, everyone makes mistakes. I do too, and I accept myself for that.
Collarbone: (Thymus Thump)  I’ll probably make more mistakes too – and I deeply and completely accept myself anyway!
Under Arm:  I can be kind to myself – it feels much better this way.
Top of Head:  Even though I make mistakes, kindness and compassion feels pretty helpful.

Take a deep breath and "let it go". 

Now, notice the following:

Feeling / Intensity: Rate your current level of (feeling “bad” or whatever your feeling was) with your problem on a 0-10 scale.  Is there less?

Sensation / Body Location: Do you notice less of the body sensations?  Is your breathing slower?  Do you feel more relaxed?  Where?
Another Round of Tapping
Here are the differences in the second round (and any necessary subsequent rounds to deal with the negative feeling  itself):

When you tap the karate chop point, the phrase you'll say three times is:

Even though I’ve screwed up in the past, and probably will again, I love this feeling of compassion.

I like practicing compassion for myself.  A little tenderness and kindness feels really good right now.

Even though it’s easy to make mistakes, I’m enjoying this kind, compassionate feeling for myself.

Eye:  Yup, I’m enjoying this calmer, safer feeling in my body right now.
Side of Eye:  I like this kindness – it feels better than that old frustration
Under Eye:  I could get used to being kind to myself !
Under Nose:  Choosing kindness is helping me feel better and do better.
Chin:  Making mistakes is not the end of my world!!
Collarbone:  I perform better when I’m calm and confident.
Under Arm:  This new kindness is becoming a habit!
Top of Head:  I’m beginning to feel the calmness throughout my body – what a great feeling!

Take a deep breath and “let it go.”


Worth your time
I’ve seen interesting and heartening examples of the effect of kindness, including this recent email from South Africa:
“I was having a restless night last night and when I decided to be kind to myself, I felt my energetic frequency change and I settled down.  Feeling your kindness has helped me be kind to me.”   

Patience is everything
“When people ask us how long does it take for something to manifest, we
say, ‘It takes as long as it takes you to release the resistance.  Could be
30 years, could be 40 years, could be 50 years, could be a week.  Could be
tomorrow afternoon.’ " – Abraham-Hicks (The Law of Attraction)

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

The Power of Sunflowers -- In your Mind

I recently took a road trip to my homeland of eastern North Dakota/western Minnesota. Miles and miles of lush corn and soybeans - a "bumper crop" as farmers say. And then, BAM! - a huge, vibrant field of bright yellow sunflowers - heads turned toward the sun, showing off their fullness of pure Joy, it felt to me.
The blooming sunflower heads turn toward the sun throughout the day; something that has always intrigued me about sunflowers.

In creating peak performance, it's really the same process as the sunflowers. We turn our inner (hidden) and outer (known) thoughts and feelings naturally and easily toward a positive power source that's ever-present within us. The EFT process literally shifts the body and mind into a more efficient, higher vibratory system. Behavior and mood shifts, things go well, and Joy is often what people report - with themselves and with their performance.

We can easily learn the secret of the sunflowers. EFT allows the shift from a stuck, cloudy pattern to one of joyful, positive flow. It's a full-sun deal!

Eliminating the Weeds - Increasing Yield

Whether you are an athlete, musician, dancer, public speaker, sales person . . . you will often experience the weeds of negative thoughts: thoughts that bring lack of confidence, fear, anxiety, low motivation, just plain being stuck.

EFT is a natural (no artificial or toxic chemicals!) way to eliminate these nasty weeds that choke out nutrients and reduce your yield - it's a natural fertilizer to enrich each cell of your body with just the right organic chemicals -literally!- so you will perform at your optimal yield. It's a bumper crop with EFT! I'm still amazed at the results after all these years.

Examples of "weedy" thoughts shifting to sun-drenched thought:
(for athletes --- or anyone, really)

Athletes (like musicians, speakers, sales professionals, etc.) often come to me feeling in a stuck place with their performance levels. One common theme is a past "failure" - the botched tennis match, the important speech or vocal audition that went south...

The common blocking belief is, "I failed, I'll fail again." Often this thought is outside their awareness. Sometimes clients have held onto this belief for decades based on some failure in grade school. It can quite easily be cleared with EFT.

Negative unconscious thought - "I can never get over that last loss so I am a complete failure."
EFT changes this to:

Positive conscious thought - "I can recover from past losses and be successful in future competitions."

Tapping Protocol: Getting Past Failure

This example is based on a tennis player - you can easily substitute your own words of "failure" that fit your situation. We focus first on the negative to clean it out, then later we'll anchor positivity into the cells for a superior next performance!

If you're unfamiliar with the EFT tapping points, you can see a diagram on my September 2010 newsletter.

Tap firmly, but not so firmly that it's uncomfortable. As you're tapping, focus on the issue at hand. After a round of tapping, take a deep breath and "let it go"...

First, note the following:

Feeling / Intensity: Rate your level of (fear or frustration or intimidation) with your problem on a 0-10 scale.

Sensation / Body Location: What is going on in your body? Where is the sensation? (Examples: tight stomach, shallow breathing, sore jaw, shoulders raised up and tight.)

Start by tapping the karate chop point as you say the following:

"Even though I "screwed up" and lost the match, I deeply accept myself."
"Even though I should have made that cross-court, I deeply accept myself."
"Even though I beat myself up for my mistake, I deeply accept myself anyway."

Eyebrow: "this failure feeling"
Side of Eye: "this rotten 'screwing it up' feeling"
Under Eye: "I should have taken it down the line!" (hindsight beat-up) - fill in your own!
Under Nose: "This 'screwed it up' feeling"
Chin: "How could I be so stupid?"
Collarbone: "this 'screwed-up failure' feeling"
Under the Arm: "I should have known better!"
Top of Head: "This rotten failure feeling"

Take a deep breath and "let it go".

Now, notice the following:

Feeling / Intensity: Rate your current intensity of (intimidation or whatever your feeling was) your problem on a 0-10 scale. Is there less?

Sensation / Body Location: Do you notice less of the body sensations? Is your breathing slower? Do you feel more relaxed? Where?

Another round of tapping:

Start by tapping the karate chop point as you say the following:

Even though I messed up while trying my best, I deeply accept myself and choose to be more compassionate.
Even though I feel like a failure, I deeply accept myself anyway!
Even though I did my best and judge it “not good enough” I choose to be kinder and more compassionate with myself.


Eyebrow: Yes, this “not good enough” feeling is familiar
Side of Eye: I am so good at beating myself up for less than perfect!
Under Eye: I wonder if I could forgive myself for being imperfectly human?
Under Nose: No way! I’m supposed to be better than human!
Chin: It’s tough – it’s not really fair to be so hard on myself.
Collarbone: What if I could forgive myself and move forward?
Under Arm: I learned a lot from that game! (performance, speech, etc.)
Top of Head: What if I can forgive myself? – I bet I could!

Take a deep breath and "let it go".

Now, notice the following:

Feeling / Intensity: Rate your current level of (intimidation or whatever your feeling was) with your problem on a 0-10 scale. Is there less?

Sensation / Body Location: Do you notice less of the body sensations? Is your breathing slower? Do you feel more relaxed? Where? What is your level on a 0-10 intensity of your “failure feeling”?

Each subsequent round of tapping would neutralize the “beating”/ “failure feeling” – and increase forgiveness and compassion feelings for being human. This relaxes the body and the mind – a perfect combination for now being receptive to anchoring in the positive, desired performance.

We tap to anchor the positives :

• I’ve learned from that mistake
• I now know so much more
• Next time I feel myself confident and ready!

Now we’re ready to perform at our most brilliant selves!

Try this tapping on your own. Be easy on yourself. If you’re new to EFT, or even if you’ve done it before, it can be helpful to have a session with a seasoned practitioner to move things along more quickly for a spectacular next performance!

Enjoy the gift of EFT. You deserve the Joy of a Powerful Performance!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The Ironman: Testing your mettle is mental

An interview with Matt Smith about breakthrough results

The Rocky Mountain Triathlon Club (RMTC) is an inspiring, focused, energetic group and I’ve had the pleasure of working with several members individually. I must say that I really enjoy their intensity and good spirits. All that aerobic exercise and endorphins show up in their positive energy! As any elite athlete will tell you, when it comes down to it, it’s the mental aspects that will take you to your highest levels of success.

Matt Smith, president of RMTC, and I did two sessions of EFT before his 2009 Ironman Triathlon in Hawaii. As Matt says below in our interview, “It’s all mental at the end of an Ironman!” We talked by phone June 18, 2010, and here’s some of what he had to say about his experience.

Matt: I had a really bad race before the Ironman. I pushed too hard, had high expectations, and I let my sponsors down.

Bernadette: In the world of EFT, we have four main aspects here to get to “zero.”
- The disappointment
- Possible guilt about disappointing sponsors
- Feeling a sense of failure
- Figuring out how to recover from this and feel able to set strong expectations for Ironman.
Remember, “emotional freedom” on a cellular level in the body — erasing all leftover chemicals of guilt, disappointment, failure, expectation — frees the body to be its most relaxed and able to perform physiologically.

Matt: With the Ironman in Hawaii, I had a lot of worry about not being able to finish the race. There’s such mental and physical exhaustion with the heat issues. In the two EFT sessions with [Bernadette], I was able to erase the thought that I couldn’t finish that long a race. I feared the environment would take me away; my imagined feeling of my legs just melting and melting while I ran turned into them feeling very strong and confident. I felt 100% physically better about the race and even though it was 100 degrees, I clocked my best time ever!

I was able to pull ahead of two other guys my age in the last two miles. All mental. It’s all mental at the end of an Ironman! You have NO gas left at that point!

Specific results – tidbits from Matt

Matt: After the first EFT session, I shaved 10 minutes off my time. I was the third athlete across the finish line. I beat professional athletes I look up to. I never got into a bad place in my head. [Bernadette] and I worked on my feeling strong, confident, being in it for fun, not for the win. I smiled the whole time I was in the race! Felt solid and confident the whole time. I attribute this to strong training and getting rid of the thought that I had to perform.

Bernadette: Pressure to perform is a killer!

After the second EFT session, Matt cut over 15 minutes off his Ironman PR (Personal Record) and was 13th overall in the world at the distance. Most importantly, Matt says, "I had the emotional gas tank to keep going the whole way."

Thursday, April 29, 2010

The Secret Benefits of Changing your Mind ----- EFT Tapping Protocol included for Golf

I’ve been accused by friends of changing my mind a lot. It’s true - I do. Many want me to make one decision and then stay with it – no matter what. . . no matter if I have more information or acquire an additional perspective on the matter. I always reserve the right to change my mind.

So my golfer client Sam, with a 5 handicap, comes to me and says, “I never do well on the first three holes of league or tournaments. It’s just always that way.” Well, that’s quite a belief – his mind seems to be made up! It’s easy to use EFT on this.

If you're unfamiliar with EFT, you can access a free manual from EFT founder, Gary Craig, by clicking here. Simply choose the middle choice of "free EFT Manual."

Now - onto tapping protocol for Sam --

Say the following sentences while tapping on the karate chop point:
Karate Chop:
• Even though I never do well on the first three holes, I deeply & completely accept myself (I can’t stress how important this acceptance pairing is, even if it sounds corny to you!)- many of us beat ourselves up in some way for doing or being “bad”, being less than perfect . . .
• Even though I’ll never do well on the first three holes and I might as well accept this fact, I deeply & completely accept myself (using hyperbole can be a very useful tool)
• Even though it would be more fun to do well on the first three holes, I just can’t and I never do – but I deeply & completely accept myself anyway.

Now start at each tapping point on the face, beginning with the inside of eye:

Inside of Eye: Not doing well on the first three holes
Outside of Eye: I never do well on the first three holes
Under Eye: It’s just not possible for me – just for others
Under Nose: What if I could do well on the first three holes?
Collarbone: I might be able to do well; why not?
Under Arm: No, not me. I never do well on the first three holes.
Top of Head: Maybe someday I'll do well on the first three holes.

Back to karate chop:
. Even though I haven't done well on the first three holes in the past, I deeply and completely accept myself
. Even though it's entirely possible for me to do well - I have all the strokes, I deeply and completely accept myself
. Even though I might just do well, or I might not - I really don't know, I deeply and completely accept myself either way!

Inside Eye: It may be possible to do well on the first three holes
Outside Eye: I have the strokes - I may do well, I may not
Under Eye: No, not me - I enjoy predicting my future of not doing well!
Under Nose: Hmm, interesting. I know I can do well
Collarbone: I might just be able to do well
Under Arm: I can imagine doing well on the first three holes
Top of Head: I can feel how it feels to do well on each of the first three holes, one stroke at a time!

As EFT works its magic in the brain and the cell receptor sites, the secret benefits of changing neurons changing your mind become apparent. The muscles, tendons, ligaments, fascia . . . everything relaxes. Sam plays his league and reports improvement - he had 2 birdies and a par on the first three holes. He’s pleased! So am I! I love those secret benefits of “changing your mind!”

Try changing your mind on any endeavor where you feel yourself attracting the negative. EFT is a powerful tool for doing so.

“Think of every thought you have as a footprint in the brain. Sooner or later, with enough repeated steps, there is going to be a path and then a rut. The rut will continue to deepen until you begin to become conscious and pay attention to your steps (an awareness of your moment-to-moment thoughts). The good news is, you can teach an old dog new tricks, provided you are willing to take the dog walking down a new path.” - Tim Kremer, Spirit of Golf, LLC

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Peak Performance: Emotional Fitness and Emotional Energy

In sports psychology, peak performance includes many components: physical fitness, emotional skills and mental focus are among the top.

I often think emotional skills are treated as the too-distant cousin at the wedding of physical fitness and mental skills. Everyone talks about the physical and mental aspects of performance. I used to be a Wellness Director at a University, and the administration thought that by simply offering fitness classes we could keep the faculty and staff happy. What people needed was a sense of being valued, a feeling that they were cared for by the administration, they wanted some "feeling" kinds of things. I know this because they told me. In my consulting room with athletes, what is it every single client brings up? -- their distressing feelings about their performance, sometimes feelings about their coach and undue pressure, or feelings about their inability to do what they absolutely know they have the talent to do.

I know - the world of emotional healing is my deal. I've been doing this work for 23 years. You could imagine that I'm the one that elicits them talking about emotional ability or their present lack of it. But it's not how it happens. They just start expressing their distress to me from the minute they sit down.

I just worked with a very talented gymnast. She's on full scholarship at a very prestigious east coast university. She's the one on the team given the hardest skills to perform. Level E skills are what Olympic gymnasts perform, which she is not. You can't go any higher in difficulty. This one particular move, the Yaeger, is really tough. She's done it well she estimates 50 or more times. But over her sophomore year she has struggled big time to complete it successfully. This is a move that, when not completed well, finds you flat on your belly on the mat from the high bar of the uneven parallel bars. Ouch! It hurts physically, and drains your energy, not to mention your confidence.

What's the emotional side of her sports performance problems? There is the intense desire to please an unpleasable coach, the fear instilled by the coach threatening to take her scholarship away, the fear of disappointing her parents . . .there are a lot of things going on. It's hard for a young junior in college who has always been the darling of the gymnastics world and had supportive and encouraging coaches to now be living for over 4 hours every day with a coach who uses threats and lack of encouragement as a method of coaching. Combine that with this young athlete's mechanism of working to please people her whole life and you have a situation that spells disaster for her ability to perform what she could normally perfom very well. These emotions of fear, lack of self confidence, worry, needing to please or else "I am not worthwhile," feeling "I'm never good enough" (very easy for a gymnast to feel) are creating havoc for this talented, dedicated, very hard working athlete. She said to me with tears in her eyes, " I'm just not enjoying this; I'm not having fun. And I love gymnastics."

Here is what Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz ( The Power of Full Engagement, page 72) say about the role of emotions in peak performance for athletes (or anyone).
In order to perform at our best we must access pleasant and positive emotions: enjoyment, challenge, adventure and opportunity. Emotions that arise out of threat or deficit -- fear, frustration, anger, sadness -- have a decidedly toxic feel to them and are associated with the release of specific stress hormones, most notably cortisol. From our perspective, emotional intelligence is simply the capacity to manage emotions skillfully in the service of high positive energy and full engagement. In practical terms, the key “muscles” or competencies that fuel positive emotions are self-confidence, self-control (self-regulation), social skills (interpersonal effectiveness) and empathy. Smaller, supportive “muscles” include patience, openness, trust and enjoyment.


Please don't ever sell short the importance of emotional healing, emotional energy, and emotional skills when it comes to sports psychology and peak performance for athletes. It is woven into every thread of the fabric of a talented athlete being successful, having a long career, and feeling their sport has developed them intrapersonally and interpersonally. My hat goes off to every competitive athlete. I am honored and thankful to work with them.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Conquering Stage Fright for Musicians with Emotional Freedom Technique

Stage fright is a special challenge for musicians and singers, as well as others who perform in front of audiences. There are a wide range of challenges, from simple jitters to debilitating stage fright.

There is plenty to worry about: dry mouth and shaking hands to begin with. And what about that difficult passage, what about forgetting entire passages, what about hitting the high notes? And what happens if we have to deal with all of these worries in the context of an important singing or instrumental audition? Or if we’re playing or singing before musicians with intimidating credentials? There is a method that can erase these blocks so you can shine with your peak performance.

When stage fright hits, fear grips our muscles, tendons and ligaments - and music cannot flow when the body tightens What’s driving that physical response and fueling that fear are our anxious thoughts and inner beliefs, many of which we don’t even know we have, since over 95% of our thoughts are unconscious.

We remember past failures (“I know I’ll blow this again”) and wonder about our talents and capabilities; in the middle of a song or a sonata, we realize that we may be rejected; or we may never get to the stage because we believe we have to be flawless and impress others in order to even perform.

And have I mentioned the fear of success?

All in all, this can be a lot to deal with.

Music teachers carefully prepare their students musically. Most have heard their students perform seamlessly in practice sessions, yet continue to watch some of them botch their performances because of anxieties they feel powerless to conquer.

One remedy that is becoming widely used among performers is Emotional Freedom Technique - EFT. Emotional Freedom Technique was introduced in 1995 by Gary Craig, a Stanford educated engineer who was struck by psychological research showing that, despite treatment, people with performance anxiety did not show significant improvement.

Based on the ancient principles of acupuncture, EFT is a simple tapping procedure that gently realigns the body’s energy system. The process is easy to learn and excellent results have been documented by people all over the world. ( see www.emofree.com and additional resources on my website; www.powerful-performance.com)

Conventional approaches tend to focus on one’s memories or other mental processes only, ignoring the body’s energy system. The premise behind EFT is that the cause of all negative emotions is a disruption in the body’s energy system. When a pianist, for example, entertains thoughts such as “I don’t know this song well enough,” or “I always get nervous before competitions,” the negative thought starts a series of reactions. Chemicals from the hypothalamus flood into the cells and these chemicals are experienced as emotions - fear, self-doubt and the like. The resulting muscle tension interferes with the musician’s ability to perform.

There are a myriad of physical results from limiting beliefs that powerfully affect the beauty and strength of one’s sound. This is easy to see in symptoms like “butterflies” in the stomach, sweaty palms, the throat becoming dry, fingers getting tense and anxiety creating memory lapses. Our conscious and unconscious thoughts create a powerful biological dynamic, determining whether a performance soars, is “good enough” or just plain goes south.

With EFT treatment, the musician focuses on the negative thought or emotion while simultaneously tapping on basic acupuncture points on the face, collarbone, under arm and wrists. This stimulation is paired with having the client mentally engage a troubling feeling, thought, or image. When a person thinks about a troubling situation, brain-imaging techniques reveal that signals are sent to various regions of the brain. The signals sent by tapping energy points on the skin, and the signals generated by engaging a mental problem, interact in a manner that reduces and eliminates symptoms.

In preparation for her New York City audition, my client, a very talented opera singer, used EFT to clear the paralysis that had always kept her from practicing before important auditions. Tapping on specific points ( see “How does EFT work” on www.powerful-performance.com) while focusing on the negative statements she was telling herself about practicing, created a significant shift in her mental outlook about practicing. After applying EFT she awoke to a day of easy and productive practicing, something she had not been able to accomplish for over a week. “I wanted to sing! . . . the act of practicing felt natural and easy!”

A little tweaking of our thought processes makes a vast difference in how we bring our music out into the world. Emotional Freedom Technique has proven to be a highly effective tool for erasing performers’ self doubt and physical tensions while tapping into their most superior talents. Let the music begin!

Friday, August 14, 2009

Weight Loss: Permanent and Powerful. - Making Peace with Food and Your Emotions

Weight loss methods become more important as our nation proliferates diet gimmicks that cost lots of money and don't deliver permanent solutions. Perhaps more importantly, they most often cost the buoyed self esteem of the dieter once they "go off" and the pounds come back rapidly.

This kind of sucker weight loss system has been a thorn in my side for decades now. I've experienced it up close personally and professionally. But there is a solution and it offers you permanent weight loss.
The solution to people continually gaining weight back after dieting contains several considerations:

1. Do you really want to lose weight? Yes or No? If no, you can stop reading and talking about wanting it. Spare yourself the agony of the unaccomplished desire, not to mention the anguish of guilt. Eat and be merry!

2. If #1 doesn't sound promising, find out how you can authentically want to lose weight.

3. Resist the temptation of diet books, diet programs, even well-designed nutritionist-recommended programs if they do not contain a proven method of helping you manage your emotions without the aid of food.

4. Resist any "program" that is led by someone who does not have total freedom around all foods and ever mentions feeling "guilty" about eating certain foods or calls certain foods "bad."

5. Develop emotional neutrality around all foods; ice cream is the same as broccoli in your emotional world.

6. Clear emotional baggage that causes you to eat when you really wanted something more nourishing.

7. Hone your ability to identify what you really need in the moment [of your discomfort] - It's usually not food.

8. Learn respect for your body and it's ability to tell you when you're hungry and when you need some other specific thing to quench your desire.

If you've been dieting for a long time it's easy to want a "quick fix." Being overweight and the process you use to get there is very painful. But if you've been dieting off and on since high school or college and now you are in your 40's, 50's - well, you get the point. You have a long history of dieting and the beliefs you've honed so well. I have never, in over 22 years of working with many different kinds of people, seen such a fierce, terrorized loyalty to a set of rules that are so destructive.

I hope you'll consider a different approach to your weight loss and weight management. Your well-being depends on it. You, too, can enjoy the freedom to eat and the freedom not to! Having a slender body; being comfortable in your body is a true delight you deserve!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Wild Weight Loss - Will it last?

Weight Loss is always a "hot" topic. Rush Limbaugh lost 90 pounds in the last 6 months! Weight loss - it's on every cover of nearly every single popular magazine. Even some content rich magazines will still include weight loss articles sure to be on the cover for increasing sales. While we obsessively put weight loss on everyone's lips and reading material, we are becoming a nation of exponential obesity. There is something amiss when we are so focused on weight loss and becoming fatter in the process. I have plenty of thoughts about what's amiss. It's not just opinion, but based on 22 years of working with people who struggle with this pervasive issue. What's the deal that we can't get weight loss right?

Let's look first at what is applauded as "weight loss." Only a few days ago, the news was all over the fact that Rush Limbaugh has lost 90 pounds in the last 6 months. Yes, 90 pounds in 6 months. Scary! How does one lose 3.5 pounds per week for 6 months in a row? Again, it's scary. Ask any nutritionist, in-the-know eating disorders therapist or doctor and you will hear a resounding voice of this not being a good idea medically or psychologically. And to boot, there is no exercise included in this diet of Mr. Limbaugh's. The "Quick Weight Loss Program" will, no doubt, be inundated with people looking for that quick fix to their weight problem. They will make a lot of money.

This diet has several key ingredients; starvation, structure, supplements and support. It's missing exercise and sustainability. Doesn't sound bad, does it? But sustainability is a big deal. I sat with a client in my office only last week - she came to see me in a total panic after she had spent the last year losing 104 pounds.(I had not met her until she came to me in her panic). She had been down to 135 pounds, 20 pounds below what her goal weight was to be on Weight Watchers. Now she weighed 155, had been eating/binging for a month, and was in literal terror about feeling consumed and out of control with eating. It was so sad to see her terror. She had no freedom around food, and any "slip" whatsoever from her spartan choices and amounts sent her into a full force binge.

This is what happens 99% of the time - and the portion of the diet that no one talks about. People talk about the success of their diets. "Yes, I lost 104 pounds!" But the next stage of the diet is the binging, the weight gain, and the subsequent piling on of guilt and shame. The diet is the faulty factor, not the person. But the person is always amassing more portions of guilt and shame. Then it starts over. "I'm fat, I must diet and do it harder."

Why mention weight loss in a blog on performance? Because appropriate weight is essential to top performance as an athlete, a stage performer, or to anyone wishing optimal health. I have a particular passion for working with weight loss, having taught classes for over 20 years to help people free themselves from their ineffective, harmful patterns with food and their emotional traps with overeating. I've seen the diet cycle up close and it never changes. If you have emotional issues that are unresolved and use food to get you through life, those emotional issues don't go away, just underground while you're on the diet. I repeat, the "loss" part is just one portion of the diet cycle. It's only one portion.

If the emotional or addictive tendencies with food are not resolved, the person, no matter if they've lost 20 or 90 pounds, will eventually have to come "off" the diet. The only other choice is to become an addict - a dieting addict. I'm concerned for Mr. Limbaugh - he's revealed his addictions in the past. This just may be his newest one. And I feel sad for all the well-meaning people sold a bill of goods about diets and weight loss.

The answer? Doing the smarter, harder work - learning how to deal with anxiety without the aid of food. Discovering, identifying what the anxieties really are and knocking them out of the body. Learning how to literally neutralize the cravings that occur from years of habitual ways of thinking and behaving around food. There's a lot of intention involved in not getting swept down the path of dieting. My wish - to give everyone I can the courage and hope that there are ways to do this work that lead to total freedom around all foods. The freedom to eat is the freedom not to. Choice and freedom, no guilt, no obsession with calories --- freedom. That is permanent weight loss.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Renewal and Restoration

I've been writing a series on Managing Energy as the key to high performance and personal renewal. And I realize more acutely how it takes constant practice when trying to achieve a new behavior pattern. Regarding getting more sleep, I had great success, and then another late night. But the difference is to realize that progress is often very cyclical. I wasn't back sliding, I just had several nights of more sleep than I normally would have!

Tomorrow I go on vacation for a week and that is truly a time of restoration for me. It's a different kind of "vacation" - no walking the beach and sitting in the quiet reading books, all of which I love. I'll be back in my old stomping grounds, Missoula, Montana, visiting a gazillion good friends. These close, loving relationships bring me such a sense of renewal and restoration. They provide much needed energy. The power of the heart and connection feeds me. I will actually be seeing a couple clients, and seeing a packed "agenda" of friends from all my 23 years of living in this beautiful, quiet little mountain town. I'm going to visit my former house, where the deer gather every evening. I'll stay with a couple different friends, and we'll probably stay up late talking about life and catching up with the large and minute portions of the meaning we find in our lives.

These carved, spacious opportunities to sit back and share with friends are what I most cherish. Aside from the silent form of journaling, I find the out-loud sharing to be the most rewarding, nourishing form of hearing and listening to my life. Most often, you don't know how you really are feeling and thinking about the evolution of your days until you hear yourself speak it out loud spontaneously. And friends will reflect it all back to you, with an eye to who you are that is particular to them.

Lately I've been experimenting with one more thing --- thinking before I articulate a comment or story; is this really true? Does this deserve to be said? Can I be willing to stop using extraneous words and just let the truth stand? It will be interesting to apply this to my sharings over the coming week. This paring to the essential seems part of my own restoration. It might just be a gift to others also.


Wishing you renewal and restoration in the blessed, heartfelt connections with those you love, enjoy, like, find stimulating, and celebrate the true nature of you!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Managing Your Energy for Peak Performance - Part IV

Peak Performance: Rest!

Authors Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz introduce how rest plays a major role in maximizing performance.
"This concept of maximizing performance by alternating periods of activity with periods of rest was first advanced by Flavius Philostratus (A.D. 170-245), who wrote training manuals for Greek athletes. Russian sports scientists resurrected the concept in the 1960s and began applying it with stunning success to their Olympic athletes. Today, "work-rest" ratios lie at the heart of periodization, a training method used by elite athletes throughout the world."


The basic concept hasn't changed since it was advanced nearly two thousand years ago. After a period of activity, our bodies must replenish fundamental biochemical sources of energy. "Compensation" occurs during this rest phase and the energy expended is recovered. When you increase the intensity of your training or performance demand, it's necessary ( not suggested, but necessary!) to commensurately increase your amount of energy renewal.

"Energy is simply the capacity to do work. Our most fundamental need as human beings is to spend and recover energy."


How and when are you resting? Do you know the keys to getting the most of high energy performance?

As you know, I've been experimenting the last week with drinking more water and going to bed at an earlier time. The blog immediately preceding this one gives feedback on how it's going!

Today is Sunday, a good day to focus on the rest periods that Loehr and Schwartz recommend for peak performance. My internal observations have been fascinating. First, just knowing that I'm going to take a break in 90 minutes makes it easier to stay focused on my task at hand. I've been able to begin and sustain the energy, looking forward to my new found 20 minute break! Other than a Mac computer class from noon-1:00, I had not scheduled any specific time to get my day's agenda completed. I chose not to visit a church today, since I did have a large amount of things to accomplish before leaving on vacation.

Old patterns have included some very unproductive days of not "starting" because I had a long list of tasks and "all day" to get them done. Many times, all day turned into all day not getting things done and also not playing!

It's been a great day! I've been able to start tasks; stick with them; take a 20' break even when the task was not done; go back to the task easily; finish it; take another break and really enjoy the freedom of these breaks! I'm happy with my day! I'm liking these experiments. The rest periods are energizing me to really get some needed work done. They are giving me great energy in the fun anticipation of breaks and freedom to see what I might create in them. Who knows! I might even be in bed by 10:00 pm tonight! Now that is behavior change to create more productive and satisfying energy in my life. Please join me! Let me know how it's going!

Managing Your Energy for Peak Performance - Part III

Feedback on Energy Experiment – Water, Sleeping, Emotional Freedom Technique -----

I really am learning from Loehr’s and Schwartz’s advice. They know their stuff. As you may or may not know about my experiment since the July 12 blog, I selected drinking more water and getting more sleep as the two baby steps I’d focus on to improve my production energy. Drinking more water helps significantly! Getting to bed earlier is bringing up some challenges! How is this important to you? Read on!

Drinking more water definitely helps! It’s working! My last blog of July 17 addressed my challenges with going to bed at an earlier hour and some thoughts about unconscious blocks to doing so. For now, let me report I actually went to bed at 10:30 pm last night – one and a half hours earlier than my typical very earliest midnight! I was giddily shocked. I do believe it was the EFT tapping I did on the aspects listed in my July 17 blog that helped me to very easily just go to bed. However, I didn’t tap on an unidentified aspect; the desire to plan my next day and tinker with some projects while in bed! So . . . it was 12:30 after all when I turned out the light.

What is important for you in this? Two things: One is that the effectiveness of EFT was what got me into bed by 10:30 in the first place. Normally, it would have been 12:30-1:30 am. Secondly, is the concept of baby steps. In former days, I would have chalked the whole thing up as a miserable failure since I didn’t turn the lights out until 12:30. My experimenting with new behaviors would have come to a screeching halt. With embracing the freedom and compassion of baby steps, I could acknowledge that getting into bed by 10:30 was huge progress for me. That acknowledgment felt great; a "way to go!" pat on the back. Normally I would have turned on a movie or Saturday Night Live or turned my computer on to get some necessary correspondence done. I didn’t do any of that, which is behavior change I want! My feel-good pat on the back is poised to allow me to go to bed earlier again.

I’ll apply some EFT on my “hard drive." I can clear the need to take those project files to bed. I can tap on the “North Dakota” habits in me where working sunup to sundown is just normal behavior. I’ve been doing that since seventh grade. Time to let it go. Time to take those rest breaks, be even more productive and have more fun. I'm already having more fun! Now that’s a combination I can live with!

Below segment excerpted from The Power of Full Engagement, Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz, page 71:

Physical Energy: Bear in Mind

• Physical Energy is the fundamental source of fuel in life.
• Physical energy is derived from the interaction between oxygen and glucose.
• The two most important regulators of physical energy are breathing and eating.
• Eating five to six low-calorie, highly nutritious meals a day ensures a steady resupply of glucose and essential nutrients.
• Drinking sixty-four ounces of water daily is a key factor in the effective management of physical energy.
• Most human beings require seven to eight hours of sleep per night to function optimally.
• Going to bed early and waking up early help to optimize performance.
• Interval training is more effective than steady-state exercise in building physical capacity and in teaching people how to recover more efficiently.
• To sustain full engagement, we must take a recovery break every 90 to 120 minutes
.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Manage Your Energy for Peak Performance - Part II

Part II: Resistance- "You Can't Tell Me What to Do!"

(Part I – July 12, 2009)

If you’ve joined me on my experiment to get more personal energy into my life, bravo and welcome! I’m wondering how it’s going for you in the last several days. Remember, baby steps! I’ve most often been an all-or-none person, which can make major changes difficult, if not impossible. I know these baby steps are going to really set us up for some good success.

In my last blog of July 12, my personal choice of baby step changes was to drink more water and get more sleep. I’m not getting hung up on the “64 oz.” per day recommendation, so because of that feeling of freedom, I think I am getting 64 oz. or more a day. Freedom is an important element in making change. If we tell ourselves we should get 64 oz. of water a day, the funniest thing happens in the unconscious (sooner or later) – resistance.

I watch it every day with my clients and with myself. I use EFT with clients to address the resistance which basically says “you can’t tell me what to do!”

The “you can’t tell me what to do!” is all unconscious. Remember, 96.4% of our thoughts and actions are controlled by the unconscious – the mind we are not aware of! The conscious mind, which controls a measly 3.6% of our thoughts and behaviors says, “I really want to drink more water.” (Excuse me while I go get some water.)

Here’s what I love about EFT. It can be used to completely dismantle and eliminate the resistance; the force against the “should” and the "should" itself. Most people call this sabotage and wonder why they keep setting themselves up for failure. I’m not a fan of the word sabotage for these instances. It suggests that somehow you are consciously doing something to trip yourself up. I disagree. More accurately, you are a victim to the power of your unconscious attachments, need for safety and many other factors. Here’s an example: (please use this to examine your own wish and the blocks that may arise for you).

I say I want to get more sleep. I really do need to get more sleep. But I don't do it. I’ve even worked on this with a business coach years ago. We were shooting for me to get in bed by 10:45. I think over the course of two years I did it once! Even when I really want to get more sleep so I could feel more rested and be more productive in my work and play day, I just plain resist going to bed. And right here, as you are my witness, I’m vowing to tap (use EFT) on my resistance to going to bed earlier. There are many aspects to my resistance. One, I’ve always been a night person, even as a child. Who would I be if I behaved differently? Clients often will say things like, “How will I know it’s me if I don’t carry this badge of resentment or hurt on my sleeve?” We become identified by certain things, certain habits of behavior. It is who we think we are. My habit of staying up until midnight or 1:00 am just doesn’t cut it anymore, but it just feels like it is who I am. It’s what I do. It used to work well! I need to download an update.

I’m also going to tap on these additional aspects that occur to me just sitting here thinking about the “desire”:
1. I have to stay up late to get enough relaxed, down time.
2. I love the night time and I’ll miss it too much
3. I don’t get enough done during the day so I need my later hours to get more done – I can’t sacrifice that time
4. I’ve always worked, written, done my best thinking at night so I must continue.
5. I used to watch Johnny Carson’s “The Tonight Show” with my father nearly every night as a child. These are fond memories and I’m “hooked” into them.


If I use EFT and tap, one at a time, on these aspects, I know I will get clarity and clearing on the blocks that don’t serve me. I will discern what’s true and what’s no longer true! I realize already that I don’t get that much work done late at night like I did when I was younger. I’m tired, productivity is low. I’d be much further ahead going to bed, waking up refreshed, getting to the office earlier, leaving the office earlier at the end of the day, and having more fun, free time in the evenings. Tapping is the key element to allowing this clearing to happen naturally, freely.

And the neat thing about tapping is that after the obvious (conscious) blocks to my goal are cleared, the unconscious ones (previously unknown to me) come popping up. It often is an exclamation of discovery on my client’s part. “Gosh, I didn’t know that was in there!” People are thrilled to identify these blocks and to clear them. They clear easily, once we see what they are!

Once I recognize the blocks to my going to bed earlier, the very things that say, “No I won’t go to bed earlier. You can’t make me and I don’t want to!” - well, then, and only then, do I stand a chance of going to bed earlier happening freely and naturally. You will find this happening with EFT – I actually can promise you that. Remember, without tapping and clearing these unconscious blocks, it’s just a desire, a good intention with a 96.4% block to happening!

I’m looking forward to tapping now that I’ve committed to you that I will! I’ll keep you posted! And remember – baby steps! I hope to hear what you’ve selected from the July 12 blog to have a more energetic, productive, satisfied day!